One day while listening to a CD I found myself in utter awe of Darren Hardy, the presenter and publisher of Success Magazine, as he spoke about having a pity party. It’s the kind you throw one when you suffer a disappointment that knocks you on your keister, making you want to crawl under the covers with a bowl of chocolate fudge brownie ice cream and never come back out.
We are not talking about serious tragedies. It’s more like not getting a major contract you thought was a slam-dunk, or receiving the seventeenth rejection letter on your book or getting the “I think we should see other people”, AKA break-up call.
Darren said he has whittled down wallowing-in-sorrow from two weeks, to two days, to two hours, to two minutes or back up to twenty minutes if it is a colossal set-back.
This subject frequently comes into play during a coaching session with a client. My standard advice is limit the “woe is me scenario” to 24 hours. Let yourself feel the pain, lick your wounds then get right back up.
Real estate mogul Barbara Corcoran, who annually invests $1.75 million on the hit show “Shark Tank,” says she takes a chance on an individual only if her gut tells her the entrepreneur possesses the ability to get really hurt and quickly bounce back.
How can you step-up your bounce back rate? First, recognize your negative emotions. Understandably you’re hurting. It is okay to experience those feelings. You may even wish to write about it. Vent away on paper! Try playing some heavy rock while you are pouring out your venom.
Then move on and access the damages. Dig deep. Did you play any role in causing the upset, or was it totally beyond your control? Ask yourself what you could have done differently to skew the outcome. Making some notes on lessons learned helps the healing process.
Lastly, focus on something positive. If you have not quite recovered from your funk using my outlined method, go directly to the freezer and party with Ben & Jerry’s Boom Chocolatta or whatever flavor puts a smile on your face.
Avoid jumping under the covers. Instead plug in the funniest video you own and lose yourself in laughter.
At the end of the day, some of us may never be able to match a two-minute sulk and recovery, but it is possible to skinny down the time we spend singing the blues. Keep working at it. There may be a day when you stand before Corcoran and the rest of the Sharks. Show them you are a winner who can rapidly bounce back!