A Wall Worth Celebrating My Tribute to a Special Dad

 

My father-in-law was a very special guy. He was a hardworking man who loved life but what I remember most was the way he took pride in family wins.

Dad created a“Wall of Fame”along a hallway leading to his bedroom.

In an area most people would find the area suitable for beautiful art, he proudly displayed proof of any family achievement.

If a grandchild won a certificate for 1st place in a spelling-bee it hit the wall, when a his off-springs graduated copies of diplomas were framed and hung, and when I received a promotion, evidence of my corporate climb received billing on the wall. The entire family loved that wall, it spurred us on to work harder and aim higher, but most of all it taught us to celebrate success.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All too often we set goals and make the upward climb forgetting to pause at the top of our mountain and savor the view. Stop for awhile, do your happy dance and take a well earned bow. Savor and enjoy the kudos sent your way from friends and family.

While you’re doing a victory lap, consider those who supported you.  Our star speller received encouragement and word drilling from a parent which helped her win the contest. Like our word queen, you probably didn’t get to the goal line without some help.  Be sure to pull your team into the celebration. Honor them with words of gratitude and praise.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By sharing your good feelings you inspire others to forge on and capitalize on their dreams.

For multiple reasons, it’s important to avoid rushing on to tackle the next goal. Slow down and spend some time processing the win you just scored. Analyze what you learned, what worked, what didn’t, and which skills need improvement.

On your way to the next goal, mindfully elevate the journey. Take the time to celebrate the smaller milestones achieved en route.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Doing so provides increased motivation to continue and bolsters self-esteem. Reward yourself with some small token, because you earned it. Experiencing joy in the journey is the point. If you wait until the deed is done to feel fulfilled, you may be waiting a very long time. By prolonging the sensation of those good dopamine vibes, you risk discouragement and defeat.

If I learned anything from the man who created the display of family accolades, it is all of the above. Although sadly both Dad and his wall are gone, I thank him for teaching me to celebrate not only my wins but each step along the way.

Overcoming a Lack of Motivation

Ever find yourself in a motivational slump? Last week as I viewed large pockets of free time on my calendar I was practically doing back flips thinking of the precious hours I could spend advancing on my goals. Turns out, it didn’t happen that way. What happened was a total lack of motivation, followed by frittering the hours away, ending in a period of zero progress.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Determined not to let this happen again, I resorted to research. Needing stimulation beyond my own self coaching  I scanned through some motivational blogs and came up short. Everything read like the same old blah, blah, blah that ran through my head. Nothing signaled a brain spark until I noticed a post by Olympic athlete, Inga Stasiulionyte.

Now I was onto something. If anyone could help me carve a path out of this listless do-nothing fog, a javelin thrower turned executive coach had a chance. Obviously anyone who followed her dream all the way to the Beijing Olympic Games knows something about victory.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As I studied her approach to success, it all boiled down to one common theme. Discipline. Okay, nothing new, we all know it takes commitment and focus to get to the goal line, however, in this simple sentence Inga offered up a key to get me back on track. “Build a no-matter what mindset.” Aha! You see all week long I gave myself permission goof-off. I decided if I could permit a lax attitude, I could also create a no-matter what mindset.

While testing it out the next day I encountered some resistance. After working on my top priority for twenty minutes, I found myself cleaning out a desk drawer. Obviously my brain preferring to operate on auto-pilot wasn’t buying into this new mindset thing. Faced with the choice of rearranging my desk or returning to work I vacillated for a moment. As I surveyed the objects in the drawer I spied a big black marker.  Grabbing the fat pen and a sheet of paper I wrote in large black letters “no matter what” and stuck it on the wall in front of me. Eyeing that powerful phrase was exactly what I needed to kick me back into action.

This new mindset worked again the next day. You see, I live in the desert and was late getting out for my power walk. Feeling like the heat was getting to me I considered cutting my trek short. Taking a deep breath I looked up at the sun and proclaimed (yep…you guessed it) no matter what! It was all I needed to suck it up and finish my walk.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s face it. Human beings fall into slumps that thwart progress. When the doldrums take over, search out a role model who didn’t give up. Grab on to a motivational mantra and push yourself forward. Although I cannot correctly  pronounce Inga’s last name, I assure you I will never forget her for inspiring a “no-matter what” mindset. Game on!

 

A Lesson In Gratitude

My 88-year-old mother has been a positive, loving, stable, supportive, and giving influence throughout my life.

Money was scarce, but I never felt poor. We lived in a small home in a little steel mill town. Although we struggled, I never heard my parents discuss money concerns.   Nor did I know  they searched the couch for dimes that may have fallen out of dad’s pocket to pay for his bus rides to work.  Never missed having a car.  Always felt loved, and secure.

But I never really realized how important that security was, until a few days ago. The backstory is three years ago, when my mother’s dementia became apparent, I moved her to Florida to be near me.  My father, who was her prince, and our hero, passed two years prior.

This week something happened. Mom told me she was scared.  She asked to  go “home.” When I inquired who she wanted to see at home, she said her mother.  More of the backstory, both parents were deceased by the time she was three  years old, and her sister, age 14, successfully raised my mom and her four siblings.

Have you ever watched your mother cry and say she was scared?  This was my first experience seeing mom genuinely afraid.  It devastated me.  It made me cry.

But, this blog is not about my mother’s experience or how well (or at times not) I deal with her pain. My message is I am a very lucky person. The question is why, and I hope this simple little story is a life lesson.

Lucky, you might think?  Dealing with a mother who has dementia?The answer is yes I am a lucky girl. While reflecting on what mom is going through, I realized my parents provided immense security. I never knew about the financial pressure of making ends meet. There was never a time I felt I could not go to my parents. They were always there for me. Although I have always been grateful, I know I have truly been blessed. 

 

Even after my dad passed, as hard as that was, I felt comforted by the very thought of him. Maybe that sounds a bit crazy but you see, he took great care of mom.  They watched over each other.  Daily I pray he looks down on me, and guides me to make the right decisions for mom.

Today I read a beautiful post written by a young friend of mine, Aimee Tarte, Owner of Lady And The Mug, in Coral Springs, Florida. She wrote:

No matter what happens in my life, I am at peace because I understand how blessed I am and for that, I’m eternally grateful. Let’s not just be thankful today, but change our mindsets to appreciate the smallest of things we overlook. I’ll always be an optimist and believe in everyone, especially those who have done wrong against me. Serve others, give with a pure heart, and remember how short life is”

 

That says it all, now doesn’t it?

Take a few moments to STOP and think about your life. What lessons of gratitude can you find that never occurred to you? Think of one small of thing you previously overlooked and post below. I would love your feedback.  It could inspire all of us!

A note from Sunny. This blog was written by my dear forever friend, Irma Parone of Parone Group.

She can be reached at irma@paronegroup.com  www.paronegroup.com

Also please free to also leave comments on this post.